Not to forgive or forget

LETTER FROM KARACHI

Anisa Khan | New Delhi | 30 November 2009 |

Do not forget. Do not forgive. This was the message being sent out by many of my friends on what is today arguably the most powerful medium of our times – facebook. The context: the first anniversary of the 26/11 Mumbai attacks. And reading this sitting here in Karachi one year later, I felt as if that message was being sent out to me alone.

I am an Indian and have been living with my husband in Karachi on and off for the last eight months. The month of October has seen close to sixteen bomb attacks in two weeks: an average of a bomb a day in Pakistan. Women and children have not been spared; cities previously untouched by violence like Lahore are now being targeted. Educational institutions across the country now resemble fort-resses and teachers have been given training in first aid and evacuation techniques. I find myself amidst a people that have to deal with an almost 26/11 type scenario on a day to day basis. And so when I come across some who cannot understand what the fuss about 26/11 in India is, I can see where they are coming from. But then what is passable in Pakistan, most certainly isn’t in India.

Sad as it is, it is extremely telling of the plight of the Pakistani people. There has been so much carnage here, at every level and in every which way imaginable, that the people have become desensitized to it. They react now as anyone pushed against a wall would: by being defensive. It is widely known now that many of the terror attacks/conspiracies around the world have some Pakistani connection – whether with training, or providing arms or a safe haven. While the people accept and understand this, it’s a reality that they haven’t come to terms with. They are very conflicted about it: they are in denial. As long as the perpetrators are non-state actors and not the Pakistani state, they are glad.

And then there is the role of the media, which is taking this denial to another level all together. Hamid Mir, the host of the very popular show Capital Talk, chose to discuss the Mumbai

terror attacks with his panel of guests to commemorate the first anniversary of the event. Except that, he began with trying to absolve the prime accused Hafiz Saeed of his involvement all together by reading out excerpts of a letter that the accused had apparently written to the anchor, and then went about as if India were the instigator and not the victim.

In my brief time here, one early impression I have formulated is that this is a country that even 62 years after its formation does not know what to do with or about the country that it used to be a part of. Having spent all my life in India, I know that the only time Pakistan figured anywhere in conversations or our day to day lives was either when a cricket match was on or there was some nuisance being created on our borders. By contrast here, on one of my evening walks in posh Karachi’s beautiful Hilal Park, as I passed by other walkers, I heard India mentioned five times within the forty minutes that I was there. This in itself is a beautiful thing. It is reminiscent of the older generation of Punjabi’s in Delhi’s Lodi Gardens talking fondly of the streets of Lahore and Rawalpindi. But sadly, in most cases I have found the sentiment to be very different. While you will often hear Indians young and old ruing Partition and saying with a lot of affection that it should never have happened, Pakistanis young and old take it as an attack on their very sovereignty. They understand it as if India (or Indians) meant it in the sense that they lost out on one part of their country. Perhaps the way Pakistan felt about letting Bangladesh go. Just the other day one veteran actress and anchor was live on television making irresponsible statements such as “jab humein India se azaadi mili,” which translated means when we won our freedom from India. This infuriated my husband so much that he demanded the channel be changed. His exposure, education and maturity see him through this kind of shocking, nonsensical jingoism, but what of the others whose only source of information is the tube?

It is this very strain perhaps that does not let the people around me here in Karachi forget even for a moment that I am Indian. I have been asked all sorts of questions about India, about the Muslims in India. My factual and honest answers haven’t gone down well with a lot of people, because these answers don’t confirm their biases. People have also, quite likely without realizing it, looked to me to validate their decision to move here in 1947. Needless to say they have been disappointed with what I have had to say. I am after all of the generation I would like to believe that is free from the baggage of Partition. Moreover my motivations to move here have been completely different.

I often get asked what the differences are between the two countries. The easier answer is that there are just a few similarities – mostly the way we look and some of the food we eat. The biggest difference is in how we perceive things, how we approach things. Broadly, I feel it’s a difference of mind set – of course with circumstances to blame.

(Anisa Khan is a TV journalist) Anisa256@gmail.com